Fruit Jokes

The F & V Gang have a great sense of humour and are always keen to hear the latest fruit and vegie jokes hitting the schools out there, so if you’ve got a good one you would like to share make sure you send it in.

Post it to:

Fresh for Kids
PO Box 2
Sydney Markets, NSW, 2129

OR email us at:

We have been inundated with some great jokes lately, which has had us all laughing until our bellies ache. Check them out!

A lemon in disguise

Because it wasn’t peeling well

A muscle sprout

From: Natalya Byrt, NSW

I got you covered

From: Tayla, QLD

"Don’t look now, I’m changing"

From: Minnell Chandra, NSW

Sorry, you’re not the right type.

From: Jack, QLD

Because they come in bunches!

From: John Utah, NSW

A neck-tarine!

From: Amanda Lee, ACT

Because he couldn’t find a date!

Quit stalking me.

From: Justin Hayden, NSW

Who’s there? Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and you’ll find out.

From: Michael Alonso, VIC

A can of people.

From: Mandy, QLD

Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.

From: Enrico

Because he saw the salad dressing.

From: Anna, QLD

Because she could see right through him.

From: Joe, WA

A has-bean.

From: Jessica, QLD


From: Armando, NSW

A mush-vroom.

From: Lisa, ACT

Because it wanted to be a lemon squash!

From: Rachel, VIC


From: Raman Subbarethinam, QLD

An embarrassed tomato!

From: Julian Warren

Easy. Make a noise like a carrot.

If I had more guts I’d do that again.

To get to the other side.

From: Alice Robinson, Brisbane, QLD

Hot dog.

From: Alice Robinson, Brisbane, QLD

Because seven ate nine.

From: Alice Robinson, Brisbane, QLD

A newspaper.

From: Dara Robinson, Brisbane, QLD

To prove she wasn’t chicken!

From: Dara Robinson, Brisbane, QLD

"I think he squeezed her a little too hard"
"Why do you think that?"
"Because she let out a little wine"

Because he had no guts.

From: Nathan

A lumpy milkshake!

From: Van, Chermside, QLD

Because it saw Mrs Green pea over the back fence.

From: Sommer and Ellie, NSW

A pair of slippers

From: Megan Bray, NSW

Because it saw the salad dressing...

From: Levi Worden

Between you and me something smells!

A skeleton laughing his head off!

We nailed that one!

From: Stevie Newey, NSW

Student: My parrot Poly ate a clock, and now, polytics.

From: Samantha Li, NSW, Age 9

A snail because it carries its house on its back.

From: Catherine Li, NSW, Age 11

Naval oranges.

From: Raman Subbarethinam, QLD

Captain Capsicum!

From: Charmaine

I'm about to change my nationality" one said to the other
"How?" the other potato asked
"By becoming French fries!"

Who's there?
Howard who?
Howard I know u!!


From: Joanne Lee, QLD

Close the door I'm dressing!

From: Jenna, NSW

He saw the salad roll.

He had no body to go with

From: Kate Young, QLD

You can't tuna fish!

From: Tuscany, Castle Hill NSW

Because he ran out of juice.

From: Jonathan H, Aroona QLD

Tarzan the grapeman

From: Isaak I, Wolumla NSW

Because he forgot his keys!

From: Sammi T, Blayney NSW

To make lemon squash!

From: Mathew C, Rockingham WA

Summa Strawberry!

From: Charmaine C, Hornsby, NSW

Jump out and yell, BOO to the banana

From: Bassem Y

Stop bugging me!!!!!!

From: Simeran B, Sydney, NSW

Daddy tomato walked back to where Baby tomato who was lagging behind was & trod on him & said "Ketchup" (catch up!)

From: Chloe, Eleebana, NSW

Because if it was large and red it would be a tomato!

Because it can carry it’s house on it’s back!

Who’s there?

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in please, I am cold

They'd crack each other up!

From: Simeran Bahia, Sydney, NSW

He couldn't concentrate!

From: Andrew, Wagga Wagga, NSW

Because he was a fungi to be with!

From Tiarna Herrero, Slacks Creek, QLD

Because it ran out of juice!

From Nathan Cheney, Happy Valley, SA

Because he kept throwing the bent ones out!

From Laura Raso, Stanbridge, NSW

Your legs!

From Jacqui, NSW

He wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken!!

From Claire Montague, Lane Cove, NSW

Who’s there?

Red who?

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?

Red Who?

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?

Orange who?

Orange you happy that Red is gone!

From Amar Sehic, NSW

Morse toad.

From Samantha Duncan, Mackay

I don't know about you but I'm starting to peel!

What is red and goes up and down?

With a pumpkin patch!

Because it saw an apple turnover!

If it was large and red it would be a fire engine!

From Lauren Ferguson

With a cabbage patch!

From Corey Crosby

The Snail. He carries his house on its back

Have him sit in the back seat with you

From Chantala Walsh

Because his feet smelt and his nose ran!

From Phillip Kirby

It saw the salad dressing.

From Kylie Tarrant, Cronulla, NSW

Because it's full of dates!

A fruit punch!

From Samantha Turner, Hassall Grove, NSW

So he wouldn't be found in the strawberry patch.

From Megan Kruijver, Sung, TAS

Who’s there?

Banana who?

Banana Apple

I don't know. I didn't even know Carrots could talk!

From Sophie Lyons Leeton, NSW

A date with a peach.

From Sarah

He wanted peas on earth.

From Rebecca


From Tayla and Dillon Whalley, Bundaberg QLD

Who’s there?
Boo who
Boo who who?
Don’t cry, it’s only a joke!

From: Ricky


From: Samantha Li, NSW, Age 10